<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Are You Jealous, Hijikata-Kun? by Pendule</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226160">Are You Jealous, Hijikata-Kun?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendule/pseuds/Pendule'>Pendule</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gintoki is soft, Hijikata is jealous, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Doubt, he's dumb - Freeform, hijikata-centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:42:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendule/pseuds/Pendule</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Jealousy’s a weird look on your face, Vice-Commander”, Otose said.</p>
<p>Hijikata’s eyes widened comically as he looked at her just as if he’d been caught red-handed. He started to stammer some excuse but it was quite obvious that Otose wouldn’t be fooled so easily. She knew already.<br/> </p>
<p>Or Hijikata is jealous, and drinking alone at the bar while his boyfriend is chatting with a blonde woman holding a kiseru really doesn't help.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Gintama Mini Secret Santa 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are You Jealous, Hijikata-Kun?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/adulterys/gifts">adulterys</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey!<br/>First of all, I'm a non-native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there's any mistake.</p>
<p>This fic is my gift for Belat (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/adulterys/pseuds/adulterys">Adulterys</a>) in the Gintama Mini Secret Santa 2020, so I hope that she will enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it!</p>
<p>See you at the end!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Hijikata just had a shitty day. All he wanted right now was to get back to the Yorozuya’s and have a peaceful evening. Well, as peaceful as it could be with the kids around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once in front of the agency, he climbed the stairs and opened the sliding door, announcing himself as he was taking his shoes off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was quite surprised to see that there was no one inside the apartment, silence filling the place. He frowned as he walked into the living room and spotted a note on the coffee table. It was scribbled in messy black ink “We are at Otose-san’s, come join us when you get back – Shinpachi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was stupid, but Hijikata smiled softly as he read Shinpachi’s name. His relationship with Gintoki had easily been accepted by the kids, things falling into place faster than he would have expected. Of course the word had spread like wildfire in the barracks, but even Sougo’s teasing had quickly faded away as he’d found more interesting ways to harass and embarrass the Vice-Commander.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata grinned to himself as he remembered how the news had been accepted by Gintoki’s closest friends. Katsura had been pretty straightforward considering that he had cornered him one night in a back alley. The Vice-Commander had expected the man to try and fight him, ready to retaliate, when Katsura had sheathed his sword and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his left ear, saying to Hijikata that he wasn’t here to confront with the Shinsengumi’s Vice-Commander, but to have a talk with Gintoki’s new boyfriend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata would have liked to avoid it, but refusing it would have been pretty daring, even for him, considering that he had been ready to slice into pieces the very best friend of his so-called new boyfriend just seconds before. He had at least accepted Katsura’s request, just to prove his goodwill. Fighting against the terrorist as the Shinsengumi’s Vice-Commander was one thing, but if Katsura decided to make it personal just because Hijikata had decided to play dumb and refuse the offer, it would have been another.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Weirdly enough, this meeting with Katsura didn’t turn sour as he had expected it. Instead, Katsura just talked to him about his affection for Gintoki and the importance for Hijikata to take great care of him. Though the Vice-Commander doubted that Gintoki would be glad to hear that Katsura thought he needed to be taken care of, he had simply nodded approvingly, trying to please the terrorist just so this encounter could end already. It did, not long after, actually, and though Katsura didn’t event try to attack him, he warned him about how he probably was the nicest one in the group of friends that composed Gintoki’s direct relatives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The meeting with Sakamoto, the weird merchant coming directly from space, went pretty much the same way. Hijikata didn’t sense any direct animosity towards him and he decided to push away the fact that the man had almost crashed his ship on Hijikata and nearly killed him when he landed. It probably was a coincidence, right? Anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Logically, Hijikata should have received the visit of the leader of the Kiheitai, or at least a sign indicating that the one-eyed man kept a close look on Hijikata’s actions. Hijikata didn’t know if it was the case, but the fact remained that he didn’t get any indication that Takasugi cared about Gintoki’s love life. He probably didn’t. The most plausible thing was that Takasugi, in contrary to Katsura and Sakamoto, knew that Gintoki was old enough to defend himself and put an end to a relationship if he wasn’t comfortable with it. Hijikata was probably looking too far into this, Takasugi probably just didn’t give a shit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyway. Hijikata set the piece of paper back on the coffee table. He didn’t know whether he should change clothes or not. He decided not to, because even though he was always fine with having some booze, he wasn’t fond of parties, so if he took too much time to change, he was sure that he would lose his motivation to go and would try to find a shitty excuse to avoid coming. But the party was literally downstairs, and, as the note addressed to him attested, he was awaited there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stretched out before looking around one last time. He turned back towards the door slipping his shoes on again. Finally, he walked downstairs, the chatter from the bar already reaching his ears even though he was still outside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door was closed, and he opened it slowly, letting the familiar smell of alcohol and Otose’s cigarettes reach his nose quickly. Hijikata blinked as he looked inside, recognising most of the people sat on the stools at the bar and on the booth seats. His eyes quickly fell on Gintoki who was seemingly chatting with a blonde woman Hijikata vaguely recognised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Yorozuya noticed him and seemed to say something to the woman before walking towards Hijikata. The Vice-Commander hadn’t moved an inch since he’d entered the bar, back close to the door he’d closed and feeling awkward as he was standing rooted to the spot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The silver-haired man yawned as he walked to him and rubbed the back of his neck. He leaned to kiss Hijikata and the other man complied reluctantly, not liking the fact that probably all the people in the room were currently watching them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thankfully, the conversations behind them didn’t seem to stop and the embarrassment receded once Gintoki started to talk. “Hey, you’re later than usual, tough day?”, the man asked simply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata repressed a sigh as he pushed himself away from the door and towards the counter, answering with a shrug “Yeah you could say that. What’s the occasion?” Gintoki didn’t seem to get the question, simply raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata gestured towards the crowd of people gathered around them, “Why's everyone here?”, he asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki grinned at that, puffing his chest proudly “Oh this? Let’s just say that we finished a generously rewarded job today”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata wanted to say that throwing parties each time he earned something bigger than usual would certainly not help him to pay his rent, but he shut it. Gintoki seemed genuinely happy and it was good to see, it was true that he had been quite focused on the job this week. To see it generously rewarded was enough to convince Hijikata not to play the killjoy like he often loved to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He raised his head to look at Otose who was already pouring the drink he wanted to order. There wasn’t much need to tell her what he wanted now, the woman seemed to have gotten used to him as well. He was practically living at Gintoki’s place now, spending most nights here than not, so Hijikata had gotten many occasions to get familiar with the old woman. Well, she had gotten familiar with him, Hijikata was just too wary of her to fully trust her, she was an old hag and Gintoki had warned him. She seemed nice at first sight, but she had a vicious tongue and seemed to be the only one able to exert some kind of pressure on Gintoki. Well at least that was what the man pretended. Hijikata hadn’t had the heart to tell him that, even at first sight, Otose looked threatening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still, Hijikata nodded to Otose as a greeting, and thanked her when she handed him his glass. The Vice-Commander turned towards Gintoki, only to realise that the man was already talking to someone else. Actually, the man seemed to be arguing with Tama over something, but Hijikata didn’t really want to hear about it so he moved away from them and went to sit on a stool closer to Tae.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The old woman was alone at the bar, Catherine seemingly chatting with customers in the far corner of the room instead of doing her job. It sure was a familiar sight. It was a chance that Otose didn’t really need a waitress to serve clients because she couldn’t have found a worse one than Catherine. It seemed that the old lady really liked to surround herself with lazy assholes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Talking about assholes, Gintoki had stopped talking with Tama, transferring his attention to Tae who seemed to be trying to negotiate something with him. Well she could still try, but Gintoki was a true cheapskate, and Hijikata doubted that Tae could get anything from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Vice-Commander was watching the scene from the bar, the ice cube melting in his drink as he spin his glass idly. Gintoki seemed to be the star of the evening, everyone trying to catch his attention and have a word with him. Hijikata was used to it, it had been something he’d had to, with dating Gintoki, the constant swarming of people surrounding him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Living with the kids wasn’t much different from living with the men at the barracks, but when it came to Gintoki’s weird friends, Hijikata had more trouble getting used to their invasive presence. He bore it most days, though there definitely were exceptions to his acceptance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sarutobi Ayame probably was one of them. The woman never seemed to be able to detach herself from the yorozuya, no matter how far away he pushed her, she always came back running to him. She was even here tonight, once again, never missing an occasion to get closer to the man, especially when alcohol left Gintoki uninhibited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The silver-haired man never seemed to pay it much mind, and even the kids had visibly taken the habit of having her underfoot. Hijikata didn’t really like living in a house where he could, at any time, open a cupboard and find a woman looking at him through her thick lens glasses instead of the socks he’d been looking for. It was always… Surprising. But he got used to it, he didn’t have much choice anyway. It also helped that Sarutobi wasn’t usually in town for long, the women being quickly sent across the country to do some job for the Oniwabanshuu. Once again, not tonight, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata could see her desperately try to catch Gintoki’s attention by screaming his name and sending him lascivious looks as she was sitting across him. Hijikata snorted in his glass as he took a sip. The only attention she would manage to get would be from the Shimura lady.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata’s opinion on the woman with the ponytail was different from the one he had on the Shinobi woman. Though Kondou-san was in love with her, everyone knew that the degree of his love for her was just as equal to the degree of contempt Tae felt for him. She was the devil herself, and though Hijikata was pretty sure that she didn’t have any interest in Gintoki, there was something in the man’s eyes when he looked at her sometimes that made Hijikata’s stomach knot. It probably only was the gratefulness he felt for the woman at having allowed him to be in Shinpachi’s life despite his poor influence, but still, Hijikata didn’t like this look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Vice-commander liked to tell himself that he didn’t like these women being around them only because of how annoying they were, but he knew full well that this wasn’t the case. At least it was not the main reason. It was ridiculous to think about it, really, right here in the middle of the bar, with Gintoki just inches away from him, smiling stupidly at some joke someone had made about something silly, but still. Hijikata couldn’t lie to himself. He was jealous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To put it in context, Hijikata wasn’t the kind of man to doubt about his look. He didn’t need to. He knew that he was handsome, the reaction of the women cooing at him in the streets or the delighted faces he caught when Matsudaira dragged him into a hostess bar were enough to attest it. He knew that. But the thing was that, he also knew that Gintoki wasn’t bad looking either. It probably had something to do with his face, his muscled body, his stupidly soft hair, his gentle smile, or – yeah Hijikata was in deep –</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the number of people gravitating around the silver-haired man was astonishing, and Hijikata had never quite realised it up until he was dating the man. Again, Hijikata wasn’t the kind of man to doubt himself, and yet, Gintoki rendered him like that, helpless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Being with Gintoki always brought unexpected experiences to Hijikata, and it shouldn’t have been a surprise that jealousy would be included. It was kind of frustrating to realise that even him wasn’t immune to such stupid things. He’d like to think that he was above all these cheesy feelings, but no, he was a man after all, and just like any other man, he didn’t like to see his partner flirt with people so shamelessly around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata groaned as he gestured to Otose to fill his glass a second time. The barkeeper did as she was asked silently, a cigarette tightly pressed between her lips. It made Hijikata realise that he still hadn’t smoked one since he had arrived. He took his packet from his jacket, taking one cigarette out and mimicking Otose as he pressed it between his lips. He searched into his pockets for his lighter, before he heard the familiar crackle of a flame close to his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tilted his head so his cigarette could meet the flame. He took a drag once the cigarette was lighted, before taking it away from his lips and exhaling the smoke. Finally, he looked up to meet Otose’s eyes. The woman had a look in the eyes Hijikata was annoyed to not be able to decipher. She’d been oddly silent since he had arrived, it was rare to not hear her reprimand Catherine, or ask money from Gintoki. She had probably done all that before he had arrived.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve got something on your mind”, the woman finally said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata frowned as he looked at her, confused. Had he been that obviously pissed off? He shook his head, answering “Nothing important”. He turned his head to look at Gintoki currently talking to the blonde woman with the kiseru.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Otose snorted, and yeah, he had probably been a little bit more obvious than he had intended to. But from all the women gravitating around Gintoki, Hijikata liked her the less. It probably had something to do with the fact that he didn’t know her at all, not even her name. She seemed always cautious and wary, as if she didn’t want to mix in with people. Well, Hijikata couldn’t say that he was doing much effort to talk to people this evening, but still, he didn’t looked like he was ready to murder whoever would step within centimetres away from him. Or he hoped so, at least.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jealousy’s a weird look on your face, Vice-Commander”, Otose said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata’s eyes widened comically as he looked at her just as if he’d been caught red-handed. He started to stammer some excuse but it was quite obvious that Otose wouldn’t be fooled so easily. She knew already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata shut his mouth and downed his glass in an attempt to get his countenance back. “Stop spilling nonsense and give me another one, please”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The old woman complied silently, but Hijikata didn’t miss the smirk on her lips. He chose to ignore it, there was nothing he could do against the old hag, she was unattainable.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the night went as smoothly as it could with a room full of criminals mixed with flooding alcohol. Tae and Sarutobi had already came to blows twice, only separated because Kagura had intervened. The Yato girl and Shinpachi probably being the only non-drunk people in the bar already. Well, with the exception of Tama, obviously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even Otose seemed to be a little bit more lively than usual, but Hijikata wouldn’t gamble on it, she was no less scary. As for the Vice-Commander, he wasn’t wasted, but more than tipsy. His mind was still clear and his vision was just a little bit troubled, but he felt dizzy and hot under the collar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighed as he turned on his stool, abandoning his seat to stretch his arms and aching legs. He’d been sitting here longer than he had expected. The kids sure had tried to drag him away from his seat to do some weird game including dices and Hasegawa, but Hijikata had refused, feeling good at the counter and not trusting any of them. He liked to spend time with the kids, but they were tricky little shits, and it wasn’t because he was slightly drunk that he had to let his guard down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata looked around the room. Hasegawa was now passed out on one of the seat booth, not far from an already sleeping Catherine. The kids weren’t here anymore and Hijikata distinctly remembered Shinpachi dragging his sister away from the bar not so long ago, screaming that she had already drank too much and that she needed to get back to the dojo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata rubbed his forehead as he noted that the orange-haired kid was missing as well. She was either sleeping in her “room” or had helped Shinpachi bring his sister back to the dojo and therefore slept there. Seeing how Sadaharu wasn’t here anymore, Hijikata leaned towards the second option.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sarutobi wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so she had probably already left. His hypothesis was confirmed by the sight of Gintoki chatting with the blonde woman at the other end of the bar. If Hijikata felt irritated at the sight, there was no doubt that the purple-haired woman would be boiling, and if he didn’t hear her scream, then it meant that she really wasn’t here anymore. It was probably a good thing, though, because Hijikata didn’t feel like listening to her throwing a tantrum as if she had any right to be jealous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata sighed. Gintoki had barely talked to him during the evening, and seeing him talk with the blonde was starting to really get on his nerves. The alcohol made him sweat and it was starting to be suffocating inside, so he decided to get out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The breeze of fresh air was welcomed as he stepped into the street, sliding the door shut behind him. He was expecting silence but was surprised by the pitter-patter of water running down the roof. It was drizzling, and the ground was already turning muddy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata liked the smell of water mixing with soil. He stayed like that for a few minutes, silently looking at the empty streets. The sky was covered with clouds and he couldn’t get a look at the moon. He liked the stillness and darkness of the night, the only lights in the streets being the ones filtering under the door of Otose’s snack house, and the neons of the hostesses bars flickering at the other end of the street.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighed as he unbuttoned the top of his shirt and then slipped his hand into his jacket in search of his lighter and cigarette packet. He deftly took one out before trying to light it up, but the wind was too strong and put the flame out every time it showed up. He pushed the packet back into his jacket with a grunt before bringing the cigarette to his lips. He then tilted his head and placed his hand around his cigarette to protect it with the wind. Finally, as he brought the lighter up, the cigarette lighted up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He took a drag quickly, smoke filling his lungs and allowing his mind to relax. He leaned on the wall of the snack house, gazing at the sky. There wasn’t much to see since it was overcast, but he liked it. He stayed like that for a few more seconds before the door on his left swung open, and both Gintoki and the blonde woman got out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her eyes immediately darted to Hijikata, but the Vice-Commander barely acknowledged her presence. He didn’t feel like looking at her, he’d seen her enough for the night, and he just wanted her to be gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From what he had seen, she was still smoking, her left hand holding her Kiseru tightly. Hijikata actually couldn’t remember ever seeing her without the object between her lips. He took a drag of his cigarette before taking it between two fingers and bringing it down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could hear Gintoki say goodbye to the Hyakka woman, but he didn’t hear any answer coming from her. The raven-haired man looked up to see why, and he realised that she was looking at him. Noticing that he had finally looked up, she nodded in his direction before finally saying goodbye to Gintoki and leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata didn’t like that. He’d been ignoring her for the entire night, and yet she still said goodbye to him. She was probably nice and even pleasant to talk to, but he was jealous and he couldn’t do much against it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighed as he kept smoking, eyes now glued to the ground and refusing to look at Gintoki’s face. Though he could feel that the man was looking at him, he ignored it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was hard to do so, though, when the man finally moved away from the wall he’d been leaning against. Instead, he crossed the few steps separating them, and encased the Vice-Commander against the wall, forcing him to look up. Hijikata dropped the rest of his cigarette to the ground as he looked at Gintoki. His eyes were shining, and he could easily understand what the man was waiting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a smirk, Hijikata closed the distance between their two faces and kissed the man in front of him. The kiss soon deepened as Gintoki’s hands slipped into Hijikata’s hair, while Hijikata’s hands were sliding to his waist and pushing him closer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His focus slowly switched from Gintoki’s lips to his neck, and he leaned closer to nip at the junction between his neck and shoulder. Unexpectedly, the smell of his cigarette had dispersed, and he soon realised that Gintoki’s clothes smelled of something. Kiseru tobacco.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata stiffened and pushed Gintoki away. He didn’t push him with much strength, but enough so he could slip away from the man. He started to walk away, suddenly wanting to leave. He’d already been in a bad mood, and smelling the blonde woman’s smoke and perfume on Gintoki’sclothes was the last straw. He’d better leave, because staying here would only bring him troubles and lead to an argument he had no energy to put into.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was quite decided to head back to the barracks, but of course he hadn’t taken Gintoki into account. Obviously the man wouldn’t let him leave that easily. Silently, he caught him up and started to walk at the same pace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Were are we going?”, asked the silver-haired man. Hijikata tried to look as pissed as he could, but deep down he knew that it would only push Gintoki to ask even more questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, he simply slowed down his pace as he answered “You, you’re heading back to the agency, and I, I go to the barracks”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could see Gintoki slowly nodding in his peripheral vision. “Yeah, no, I don’t think I will”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata stopped. “Listen, I know I’ve been in a shitty mood all evening, but let me go, I’ll be calmer in the next days”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki seemed to pause and think for a few seconds, before answering, deadpan, “I won’t let you run out on me that easily, Ogushi-kun”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata sighed as he rubbed his face with both hands. Gintoki was a little shit but the Vice-Commander couldn’t really hold it against him, he was the one who tried to leave with no explanation, after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He also couldn’t help but notice the expression on Gintoki’s face. The samurai had been smiling almost all evening, sporting a shitty grin that seemed to charm every living soul in a ten mile radius. And now that he was with Hijikata, that big smile had disappeared, and the raven-haired man was starting to wonder if he had something to do with it. He probably had, actually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t really help to lift Hijikata’s spirit. In fact, it was only making his anxiety grow even more. How could he consider himself a good boyfriend when he couldn’t even make the-said boyfriend smile?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Fuck,</em> he thought. He walked faster, his confused mind and dizzy state screaming at himself to get as far away from Gintoki as possible before he would say something he didn’t want to. Of course it wasn’t that easy, with Gintoki following him so closely. Why wasn’t the silver-haired man drunk? Hijikata was always the one who had to carry him back home, and right when the Vice-Commander wanted to get rid of him, the man had decided to be the less drunk of the two.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The weather didn’t help to improve his mood, it was just as shitty. The small breeze had turned to a strong wind while he hadn’t been paying attention, and though it was still only drizzling, the water was hitting him straight in the face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was taken out of his thoughts when someone grabbed him by the arm and pushed him under a roof. He blinked a few times, realising that Gintoki had found them a shelter under the roof of a shop in the street.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mind to tell me why you’ve been in a mood all night?” Gintoki finally asked, speaking for the first time since they’d left Otose’s front door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata didn’t want to answer. But alcohol had the bad habit of loosening tongues, and Hijikata was no exception to this annoying side effect of the beverage, so he blurted out before thinking “Oh so you’ve noticed?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He immediately mentally slapped himself, cringing at his snappy tone even though he hadn’t meant to say it like that. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Gintoki’s head snap towards him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”, the silver-haired man asked, visibly surprised by the Vice-Commander’s words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The latter seemed to have lost the filter that’d been holding him back all night, finally snapping at the other man “I didn’t think you’d noticed me with how much you’ve been with your girlfriends all night”. He sounded like a petulant child, but at this point he didn’t care anymore, he felt like pure shit and just wanted to unleash everything weighing his heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In front of him, Gintoki seemed to be torn between confusion, anger, and laughter, not quite sure what attitude he should adopt while facing the other man. Actually, it probably was the first time that Gintoki saw Hijikata like that, genuinely pissed and uninhibited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My girlfriends? What the fuck are you talking about, Hijikata?”, Gintoki asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata was looking at him straight in the eyes, “You spent the entire night talking with the blonde one”, he answered dismissively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki raised an eyebrow, almost gaping at the man in front of him. He closed his mouth, before opening it again, and closing it. He seemed to be mentally debating about his answer. The silence was awkward, and Hijikata’s anger was deflating with each passing seconds, the rain hitting the roof under which they’d sheltered for only disturbance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The gears seemed to finally click in Gintoki’s head because he asked, dazed, “Are you <em>jealous</em>?”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata didn’t answer, and Gintoki’s shoulders slacked, tension leaving his body as he replayed tonight’s events in his head. He sure had spent a lot of time with Tsukuyo, but the woman wasn’t used to meeting people at the surface, so Gintoki’d had to introduce her to most of the people there tonight. He had also chatted with Tae as well, but it was all about Shinpachi, and the boy himself had interrupted them a few times. Okay, so maybe he had been neglecting Hijikata a little, but it hadn’t been his initial goal, not at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He heard the ruffling of clothes next to him, and when he turned to look at Hijikata again, he saw the man struggling to light his cigarette, the wind blowing the flame each time it flickered out of his lighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck”, repeated the raven-haired man, getting more and more worked up as the seconds ticked by.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a sigh, Gintoki reached out, his hand coming over Hijikata’s to cover the cigarette. This seemed to work, because soon enough he was able to spot the reddish tip of the lit up cigarette finally glowing in the dark. He waited for Hijikata to take a drag before stealing the cigarette from his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki snorted as he closed his eyes, taking a drag. He opened them seconds after, and couldn’t stop the smoke from leaving his mouth as he gaped slightly at the sight of Hijikata’s face. He looked hurt, a scowl twisting his usually expressionless features.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki was rarely a serious guy, okay? He’d had enough occasions to learn that being serious in life wasn’t worth it. He preferred to joke around and laugh at everything he saw. However, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t just act like an adult when the situation required it. And clearly, this right now seemed like one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He took the cigarette away from his lips, handing it back to Hijikata who seemed to barely notice it. Instead, the Vice-Commander brought his free and shaky hand over his eyes, biting his lips anxiously. If the sight wasn’t enough to sober Gintoki up, his words sure drained away from his mind all potential joke he could have made.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why do you even bother being with me?”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki froze, right hand hovering over Hijikata’s closest shoulder. Had he heard right? He couldn’t have, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The silver-haired man took a deep breath, steeling his nerves as he was recovering from the mental shock of hearing Hijikata say such a thing. The other man probably misread his silence, because he kept talking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You always talk about wanting grandchildren, kids, and a big family. I can’t give you any of that, I can’t-” his words were slurred and Gintoki wanted to stop him, but he was just too stunned to hear Hijikata talk like that to move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You spent the whole night smiling to the Shimura lady and the Yoshiwara woman and, once with me, you just stopped. I don’t get it. You looked better with them.”, Hijikata added before sliding down the wall and sitting on the ground thankfully sheltered from the rain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki knew that Hijikata was drunk. He’d seen him staggering out of a bar enough time to recognise this state when he saw it. However, he had never seen the man like this, spilling his heart out, and being this honest. It wasn’t something they really were with each others, being honest. Especially with their feelings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He should stop Hijikata, because he knew that the things he’d just said and would say would have never been said if the man had been sober. But even drunk, the Vice-Commander wasn’t one to be talkative, so whatever he was saying right now probably had been bothering him for quite some time already. The raven-haired man would probably hate him when he would wake up the next morning, but Gintoki wasn’t about to stop him from talking when he’d obviously been bottling things up. They were both already too emotionally constipated to rub it in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had a shitty day”, Gintoki blurted out, sliding down and sitting next to the raven-haired man.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The latter didn’t answer, lowering his head on his two arms already resting on his knees. Gintoki took this as an encouragement to keep going, so he did. “Sure, we finished the job, and the pay-check was good, but it didn’t go as planned”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He paused, sighing. “We had to hunt a sea creature that’d infested a lake. It was child’s play, obviously. Well, turned out that this thing was just a mother trying to protect her kids, and that now there were two eggs ready to hatch laying at the bottom of the lack, with no mother to take care of them”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stopped, rubbing his eyes with one hand. “The man who gave us the job took the eggs with him, but I still feel like pure shit for having done the job without taking the time to understand the situation”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata was still silent next to him, but Gintoki could feel his gaze on him. “The kids don’t know, and that’s good this way. Making the party was a good distraction, and it was fun to talk with Tsukuyo– he paused to look at Hijikata in the eye, “the blonde woman”, he explained– but it’s tiring to smile for an entire evening when you don’t feel like it. It’s only once I’m with you that I can just let myself go”, he finished, finally letting his head lean against the wall behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few seconds passed before Hijikata spoke up “I didn’t know”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki snorted, “Of course you didn’t, I didn’t told anyone. But that’s not the point I’m trying to get”. He shot Hijikata a pointed look. “What I’m trying to say here is that you’re not the reason why I didn’t smile earlier”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata stayed silent this time, and Gintoki assumed that sitting down had calmed him a little. His even breathing attested it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tsukuyo’s a nice woman, though I’m pretty sure she’d gut me if she thought that I was interested in her”. He paused. “It’s a good thing I’m not”, he added, a small smile on his lips as he said the last part.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata was still watching him silently. He was pretty like that, his dark hair merging with the darkness of the night, drops of rain still rolling down his face, and his blue eyes looking grey in the dark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki reached out, his hand easily sliding into the man’s hair and ruffling it playfully, “I’m gay, Hijikata-<em>dumbass</em>, like, totally gay. Tsukuyo’s pretty, but really, really not my type”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki could see a soft blush spreading on Hijikata’s cheeks. The raven-haired man opened his mouth as if to speak, before reconsidering it and shutting it back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki smiled playfully as he leaned closer to the other man, adding “Plus, I don’t think I’m her type. Didn’t you see how she eyed at the masochist all night long?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata bit his lip before putting his hand on Gintoki’s face in an attempt to push him away. It didn’t do much, because the man didn’t bulge. Instead, he even sneaked closer, the arm on Hijikata’s head sneaking around his shoulder, flushing him against Gintoki’s side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki’s head was pressed just against his ear, and Hijikata almost startled when the other man whispered into it “Next time you get jealous, tell your stupid brain to at least pick someone who’d interest me”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally, Gintoki pushed himself away, rising from his crouching position and stretching his arms. He turned his face towards the man still on the ground, adding “Though the only serious challenger you have right now is Ketsuno Ana”. He winked, before adding “She’ll always come first”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata snorted as he stood up as well, dusting his pants. “As if she’d want you”, he said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki raised a brow at him, “Don’t laugh about it, I’d say yes to her in an instant”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata shoved him but it was weak. He slipped out from under the roof, noting that it had stopped raining. He was starting to walk away, before Gintoki grabbed one of his wrist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Forced to turn, the Vice-Commander ended up face to face with the silver-haired man. His gaze was making Hijikata blush, piercing red eyes holding a seriousness Hijikata wasn’t used to. Gintoki didn’t let go of his wrist as he leaned to kiss him, his free hand holding him by the nape of his neck. The raven-haired man happily complied, deepening the kiss as he tilted his head to get a better access to Gintoki’s lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They broke apart, both needing hair. Hijikata let his forehead rest against Gintoki’s, eyes never looking away from the other man. His wrist was released by the man’s grip, before one of Gintoki’s hand came brushing damp strands of hair away from his forehead. They were so close to each others, and Hijikata never wanted to leave. He could stay here forever, looking at Gintoki while the man touched his face so gently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gintoki leaned closer, moving his face into Hijikata’s neck before hugging him tightly, the hand on his neck moving to bury into the Vice-Commander’s hair. It was so unusual for the silver-haired man to get so cuddly, but Hijikata wasn’t going to protest. He hugged him back, tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hijikata’s heart was fluttering in his chest, Gintoki’s arms grounding him and pushing away all the worries that’d been unconsciously taking over his mind for weeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And when Gintoki whispered a soft and barely audible “I love you” in his ear, every trace of doubt finally vanished as a soft smile spread on the raven-haired man’s lips and he whispered back “I love you too”.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I hope that you liked it!</p>
<p>As I said, it was really fun to write this fic, and I really hope that Belat loved it, and everyone else as well! Even though we had to only chose one prompt for the gift, I couldn't stop myself from adding a few elements from the other prompts in the list!<br/>It wasn't easy to write a jealous Hijikata, so I hope that he wasn't too much out of character!</p>
<p>Also, I hope that my fic isn't too long ahah, I kind of got carried away, again...!</p>
<p>Anyway, please leave some kudos and comments, it always makes me so happy to read them!! :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>